I matter to who matters! This phrase has changed my life.
I started to think through what this phrase really means. To me – this phrase means that I don’t need to worry about what people think of me that don’t care about me or my well-being. Revolutionary, huh?!
Let me provide an example of a situation (that I may or may not have gone through🙄) to help you understand how this phrase helps me.
“My boss doesn’t value me. He doesn’t mention what I do well to the person he reports to. I’m passed over time and time again for a raise. He takes credit for my work and I could lose my job if I don’t watch what I do or say! He should matter to me, right? NOT TODAY FOLKS!
Just because he is responsible in some way that I receive a paycheck, doesn’t mean he should matter to me to the point that he affects how I feel about myself.
If a person like this gives off the impression that you are anything less than how you value yourself, we both know, YOU….YOU know differently!
There could be many reasons why they are behaving that way. Maybe some professional jealousy is at play, maybe they are just clueless, maybe they are insensitive, maybe they are too busy to take the time to pay attention and know your value…. The reasons are scattered.
BUT, whatever he is saying or not saying – doing or not doing – does not mean you are worthless and deserve the treatment you are getting. Nor does it mean that you should give this person that is negatively impacting you that much of your energy.
Granted, these moments are hard to shake off. I get that. You may need to think of some way to (in this example) professionally work out the kinks in this relationship. But, when you realize that this person truly doesn’t matter to you in a long-lasting, personal way, it’s easier to shake off mud that you feel has been slung at you.
I don’t do this anymore. I don’t give this type of person that much power in my life.
You matter to who matters to you. They are the people that deserve your time and energy.
So, how did I handle “the incident” mentioned in my previous blog post? After the phrase , “I matter to who matters!” came to mind. I processed through what that meant to me. As I tried to shake off the after-effects of that day, I kept reminding myself that “I matter to who matters”. I matter to my parents, my spouse, my children, my grandchildren, my Father in Heaven and my Savior. Knowing that they care about me and love me for who I am, good and bad, helped to minimize the feeling I had that I was worthless.
I started to create a battle plan to address what was happening to me professionally, but that was separate and distinct from stopping the crappy way I was personally feeling. I realized that in a personal way, this person didn’t matter to me one. bit. If I had met them outside of a work setting and they treated me this way, I’d have figuratively turned my back on them and been like “Pffftttt – whatever!!!!”