I’m tired. That may be obvious because I haven’t created a post in quite awhile. It wasn’t intentional. I tend to let life carry me away instead of trying to be more in control.
I believe another reason why I’m overly tired is because I seem to have constant issues with myself, my family or my job to worry over. What am I worried about? The fear of something more to deal with, something worse happening.
We all have fears. We fear failure, rejection, disappointment, disasters, not being chosen, not going to be where we want to be at this point in our life, not being good enough, not being strong enough, not being in control, the unknown, just to name a few. If you are a person that believes in God, you may fear that He has forgotten you, or that you are being asked to withstand a trial that is beyond your capacity to endure.
For me, when I experience strong fear, it’s always a roadblock that prevents me from moving forward. I think my greatest fear is that I’m “not enough”. I’m not strong enough, smart enough, physically fit enough, “Mom” enough, “Wife” enough, “Supervisor” enough, “Grandma” enough, rich enough, healthy enough, spiritual enough……you get the picture. Couple fear with being tired all the time? I’m lucky some days to just get out of bed.
I read an article I’d like to share, because the premise mentioned is what helps me to break out of the chains of fear and helps me to start moving again, in any direction. The article is entitled, “Divine Discontent”.
First quote: “Divine discontent comes when we compare ‘what we are [to] what we have the power to become’. We yearn for greater personal capacity. We have these feelings because we are daughters and sons of God, born with the Light of Christ yet living in a fallen world. These feelings are God given and create an urgency to act.” I very much resonate with this statement. When I feel stifled or stuck, I start to get irritated with myself, feeling that I am wasting time and that I am letting fear win. It’s this feeling of discontent that helps me try to jump start my ambition, to move out of the place I’m stuck in. It starts my inner problem-solving process. It helps me shed my pride and drop to my knees to ask Father for help and guidance. It causes me to reflect and realize, that in many ways, I am more than “enough”.
Second quote: “We should welcome feelings of divine discontent that call us to a higher way, while recognizing and avoiding Satan’s counterfeit — paralyzing discouragement.” Yep. That’s me, through and through. Paralyzing discouragement. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Horrible place to be.
Third quote: “[Paralyzing discouragement] is a precious space into which Satan is all too eager to jump. We can choose to walk the higher path that leads us to seek for God…or we can listen to Satan, who bombards us with messages that we will never be enough.” Uh huh. Yeppers. Totally true. Put my picture on that meme.
So how do you know the difference between divine discontent and paralyzing discouragement? “Divine discontent is not an invitation to stay in our comfort zone, nor will it lead us to despair. [It] motivates us to follow the example of the Savior. [It] leads to humility, not to self-pity or the discouragement that comes from making comparisons in which we always come up short. With Christ’s help….we are enough.”
While I completely related to the main content of the article, the conclusion spoke volumes to my soul. “Jesus’s miracles often begin with a recognition of want, need, failure, or inadequacy. Remember the loaves and the fishes? The story begins with the disciples’ recognition of their lack. [They] were right: they didn’t have enough food, but they gave what they had to Jesus, and then He provided the miracle.”
Oh wow. Huh. WOW.
I am enough.
I am enough, if I trust that Christ will make up the difference. He will “multiply my efforts”.
Have you ever had those moments in your life where, as you reflect, you don’t know how you got through them? I believe those moments are times where you did all you could and Christ multiplied your efforts. I do. For me, there is really no other explanation.
I keep telling myself…I matter. I matter to someone. And that makes all the difference.